Hospice or Palliative?

A Personal Update

I have not been well for quite some time, largely due to ongoing chronic kidney disease. Recently, however, I received a diagnosis that is even more serious. I have cancer that began in the endometrium and has spread to my ovaries and into the peritoneum. There is also caking on the omentum and malignant ascites that requires frequent paracentesis. The doctors have given a prognosis of less than six months.

I was given a choice between hospice care and palliative care. After careful consideration, I chose palliative care.

I went through hospice with both of my parents, so I understand firsthand what that experience is like for families. Because of that experience, I do not want to place that burden on my own family. Under hospice care, emergency treatment such as calling 911 or going to the ER is generally not an option. I prefer to keep that freedom if something urgent happens.

I also believe it will be better for me to die in a hospital setting, surrounded by nurses and doctors who know what to do. Asking family members to serve as caregivers at home during the final stages of life can be extremely difficult. I know what it is like to sit beside someone you love while they are dying and feel helpless to ease their suffering. It is a heavy responsibility, and I do not want my loved ones to have to carry that weight.

I have also decided not to pursue chemotherapy or radiation. At this stage, those treatments would not meaningfully change the outcome, and they would likely take away the quality of life I still have. Right now, I want to use the time that remains as well as I can.

One of the things I hope to finish is the audiobook version of The Rum Runner: The Legend of Captain John Stewart. I am currently producing it through ElevenLabs. The first thirty chapters are complete, and my goal is to finish the remaining seven and then do a final review before publishing it through InAudio and Spotify.

The print and ebook editions are already available through Amazon and Draft2Digital. There is also an audiobook version on Amazon, but that version uses a single narrator voice that I was never fully satisfied with. With ElevenLabs, I have been able to create different voices for different characters, which should make for a better listening experience.

As a Christian, I am at peace with this diagnosis. I am not afraid. My faith sustains me, and I trust God with whatever lies ahead.

I am sharing this now because there will likely come a point in the near future when I will no longer be able to respond to comments here, on YouTube, or elsewhere online.

My affairs are in order, and I am grateful that I have been able to take care of those things.

Finally, I want to say thank you to everyone who has read my books, left a comment, or offered encouragement over the years. I truly appreciate it.

Thank you.